generally, you would be able to review your work
looking at the requirements handed out at the beginning of the project.
there is little space for imagination at this moment,
you have to produce drawings and text that trigger it. look critically at your
document or ask another person to read it and find out if the information
presented and the order it is presented in makes sense without you needing to
explain the project.
to all:
-
you need to spell check.
-
your pages need to be numbered and your content page
has to reflect those numbers
-
once your design is finalized, you have to look
at the document as a whole and possibly re-edit/ re-order the content
-
any analysis is only relevant if it is linked to
your design/ framework
general
comment
-
the udf is
the spatial framework that allows your tower design to become integrated part
of the urban fabric.
-
this means
that you do not have to repeat generalities of the brief but make it applicable
to your design. your building will meet the ground floor, this is where you
meet the city. try to explain your design principles/ intentions in plan and
section 1:500, where you include the neighboring blocks.
links
to remember from original hand out:
hand in 2 draft udf 22 august
- drawings: at least 4 a1 size sheets, the submission
must include but is not limited to plans,
street sections, elevations, morphological studies,
figure ground, axonometric and perspective
representations, the systematic use of photography as
tool or urban investigations is
encouraged
models are highly recommended.
draft document 30-40 a4 pages (landscape) including images and layout
urban design framework
the framework should consist of the following:
- problem statement
- objectives
- design framework – showing all components of the
concept
- traffic flows – hierarchy of transport routes, a new
design of appropriately scaled local
streets
- key installation and infrastructure – hierarchy of
nodes
- open spaces – hierarchy, structure of open spaces,
hard and soft urban landscape
- design criteria – sustainability strategy for the
building
- implementation strategy
the implementation strategy should be made up of the
following:
- phasing drawings – includes economic strategy
- three dimensional drawings of nodal areas expressing
integration of your proposed
design in the precinct
- analysis and application of the design framework,
positive and negative aspects. how
does the framework integrate with the precinct and
neighborhood as a whole? how
does it envisage economic upliftment in the area? how
does it address social
integration and attempt to avoid gentrification?
tasmin lee
vieira 3/10
p2:
content: needs page numbers re: chapters of document
revise
headings, this is your work, you do not need to write ‘my proposal’
avoid
‘our city’ ‘our site’ and similar expressions
abstract
missing
page
4- 5: the text does not read well, consider using diagrams to illustrate what
you want to say. make sure it has relevance for your design.
page
6-10: mappings need an introduction, why do you look at what, point out the relevance
to design project (not only in the educational diagram), you need sections that
complement the plans
p7:
graphic cut off
p11:
re-write intro paragraph. do not write in the first person, this is a
framework, not a personal project description. the development of the framework
should be a logical consequence based on findings in the analysis. this is not
evident in your document.
p12:
the case study needs to be referenced.
page
13 –18: text and diagram/ image do not correlate
your
initial intention is not clear: what are you doing, why and how?
a
visual arts network needs to be explored much further, existing networks
analysed and possibly integrated. the same accounts for the idea of an utopian
city within a city. you need to draw and visualize what you write. there is not enough development at this
stage. there is no framework to date.
mathias boer 0.5/10
spelling
font
and size: has to be consistent throughout the document
layout:
no coherent layout of document
p1:
content: needs page numbers re: chapters of document
p2:
focus: do not repeat your name as author, this is stated in the beginning of
your document
[1]
what does it refer to?
your
site is not in hillbrow [we have previously discussed this]
p3:
objective? no information
p4:
no relevant information
page
5-6: poor graphics, how are they relevant to the project?
p7:
relevance to project? figure does not relate to text.
p8:
poor graphic, not related to text.
p9:
poor graphic
overall
no analysis
page
11-15 : 22 relevance to project?
p16,17:
empty
p18: relevance?
p19-22:
repeated images with no specific information
where
is your project?
no
relevant information re: research and/or design is being communicated. there is
no framework to date. the submission is lacking and extremely poor.
hiten bawa 6.5/10
p1-8:
layout text, relation – text images could be better.
there
are other cities in the world that have not been founded on or near a water
body…aachen in germany would be one example, research this and perhaps say the
only city in southern Africa or something . . .
p16-23:
interesting approach but it is not clear how relevant to the project – colour
coding of different areas is not enough. what is the relation to the site of
the project? somehow you should relate the areas to your previous analysis on
the larger scale.
p27
– 29: check index readability
p31:
topography not readable, how is it relevant to the project?
p32-37:
interesting, but has to be more explicit how it will influence the framework
p43-49:
nice link to previous project, hopefully relevant for the framework . . .
p50:
other case studies?
p52
– 66: difficult to comment as there is no information regarding future design
general:
seems like a lot of interesting information that has not yet been edited
towards a comprehensive urban design framework around the design of a skills
tower. what you call framework is at the moment a general analysis. potentially
good document.
françois mercer 1/10
check
spelling, capital letters
p2:
page numbers do not correspond to document , no page numbers on pages
p3
(not numbered as such)- [1] used twice
as reference.
problem
statement: unclear what you want to say, re-phrase
concept
of interpenetrating space re: joburg city and site not clear.
p4-9:
very basic analysis
there
is no framework to date. very lacking and not concise submission.
samantha trask 3.7/10
p5:
content page needs page numbers re: document
p10-11:
how are these maps relevant to your document?
p12:
(not indicated as such): ref: who did that map, you have to reference!
p13:
newtown bubble is not located correctly, thus the diagram is not concise
p14/
15: no legend, diagrams are thus of no use
p16-22:
how does the history/ development inform your project? text should be displayed
in 2 columns for better reading
p23-34:
relation of text to illustrations missing
formal
& informal minibus taxi nodes and following pages: fuzzy map
you
need sections through your site, not just plans
the
framework intends to support your design on a larger scale. it has to become
part of the document asap. there is no framework to date.
dylan watkins 4/10
general:
spelling
content
page: missing
page
numbers: missing
text:
font too big? use 2 columns in layout.
abstract:
this is not an abstract, that summarizes what you are going to do in your
project.
structure:
the document contains interesting information, which is, however, not displayed
in the required format. it cannot be up to the reader to figure out why one is
looking at certain information. as
serious as the research might be, it is not represented in a structured and
thus easy accessible way.
there
is no framework to date that is explained in the layers required. a green belt
might be an interesting approach, but needs more explanation.
the
graphic of the sketch sections is nice but needs to be contextualized in a
larger more coherent and concise framework.
kyle alllen gates 4.2/10
check
spelling, capital letters
re-write
abstract: city: the whole background of transition, transformation and change
is not explained adequately.
page
numbers: missing
continental
– national diagram: where do people come from? if you talk about migration, it
might be important to add that in this diagram
history
and heritage: missing
transport
routes: relevance for design framework?
mainly
plans, only one section so far. you need more + many of those.
design
missing, needs to be integrated to develop urban framework.
zoe goodbrand 5/10
this
is in addition to the oral feedback on thursday
check
spelling, capital letters
contents
page: add page numbers
p4:
outlines of diagram a bit fuzzy, try to sharpen
p25:
diagram fuzzy, sharpen
general
approach: pedestrian network: interesting concept
however,
not represented as such in document
good
potential as discussed, but remember the evaluation is based on documents
handed in not on what could be…
for
urban circuits/ check:
zones
urbaines sensibles
copenhagen
is on sample but not the only one
check
this site for a 3d graphic design
proposal
try
to find more case studies in cities with similar characteristics like
johannesburg
chad dixon 4/10
check
spelling, capital letters
contents
page: add page numbers
consider text layout in two columns
font for headings is difficult to read
page 3: abstract: avoid stereotypes by all means: johannesburg is the most popular destinations for all africans, for
hope to make their dreams come true for increasing their income and living a
better lifestyle.
p4-: no info
p6-10: info relevant?
p34: problem statement? why is it there? is it a result of the analysis?
then it has to be phrased like that. it is to short and general.
p38: framework needs more explanation, not just bullet points
avoid fuzzy graphics like on p6, 31,32,
difficult to access the information and your train of thought re:
intervention.
are you sure about the underground pedestrian passage?
annelide
loetter 5.9/10
check
spelling, capital letters
add your design to your our cover page once it is finalized as a 5th
diagram?
content page:
p…. not necessary in every line, write ‘page’ as heading above the
column and use numbers only?
intro: sectional intro; more of a sketch (and a very nice one), but make
it relevant to your project. if it is important, refer to it in the document or write a paragraph about
what the words mean to your project.
it is not easy to follow how you use the graphics to develop your
argument
some text to explain the analysis would be helpful
p24, 25: images need captions to explain the context they are used in
p 26: huge scale jump in relation to the 2 previous pages, caption on
images might help to bridge it, create a link between images and graphic
p7-12: use images with captions or references (what do they represent)
p9: is the framework safe and accessible or is it a framework for a safe
and accessible urban fabric?
p13-14: you might need to be more specific in how these different users
will co-exist within your building once your design is more developed
p37-40: need sections to communicate
your design needs to become part of the overall framework…and once it
is, all material needs to be looked at and possibly re-edited/ organized. push this . . .
alexander thompson 4/10
check
spelling, capital letters
content page_ page numbers missing
abstract and introduction read differently, re-formulate re: your design
proposal.
p6: relevant for the proposal?
p23,24: explain the origin of the crime statistics, where are they from?
p26: diagram is not easy to read
p26-31: link between analysis and design should be established, site,
mall and park over railway have to be part of one design framework and should
be related to each other in terms of access.
the document has to become more consistent in how the information is
used and why it is relevant for the framework (analysis)
problem statement should be more explicit, linked to site in form of
spatial analysis
so that the intervention can be evaluated: does it solve some of the
existing challenges raised in the framework?
jodine maree 5/10
general layout: purple background makes it difficult to read black text
green ribbon not necessary to repeat on pages
text might read better in 2 columns
check spelling! [we’ve discussed this far too often for it to be a
repetitive theme]
p3: need page numbers
udf purpose: is not necessary to explain what it is, the document has to
explain it through its content
p6: difficult to read
p7: johannesburg as we understand it today has a relatively short
history. the first sentence is misleading. re-look at the paragraph as a whole,
the history of johannesburg (and south africa) is slightly more complex. check
your facts and then reference source.
p9: re-phrase
p12-13: layout, resolution, relevance of information for project?
micro context: main roads: how did you determine that these are the main
roads? explain.
this refers to all mapping, for example low and high density buildings,
how did you determine which building is low and which building is high density?
precinct scale: drawings are not sharp, lines appear fuzzy on some
drawings
p39: how can an area stereotype? re-phrase or state explicitly.
building and framework have to be integrated, the pedestrian route does
not necessary need to lead to a park (across the railway lines). the urban
fabric can continue and provide space for pedestrian streets, that are
responsive along the edges.
christopher
atkins 3/10
content page missing
structure missing
layout: drawings/ graphics not prominent enough
leave black strip at the bottom of the page and use the space for
information/ content.
font size could be smaller
p11:relevance of sun study?
p12: the argument is not plausible, re-phrase.
p14: explain how you zoned the blocks, what data/ information is the
zoning based on?
the diagram does not show building usage but ethnic zones, as the
subtitle states. change heading
p15-19: a pedestrian and green network is surely a possible approach,
yet there is no visible framework to date nor explanation for certain
decisions, like how you are manipulating the transport routes. before and after
illustrations might help. you have to draw 1:500 of your site and the immediate
pedestrian network to start your framework from the building and develop it to
a larger scale.
marc
sherratt 7.3/10
urgent: add content page – to give your project structure – and page
numbers
abstract: add: explain the final project in relation to the general aim
that you describe
photos objectives: reference, source. add captions to explain relevance,
select illustrative photos carefully and choose those in good resolution. the
general standard of your illustrations (diagrams, collages) is much higher than
those of the photographs. try to keep the high standard throughout.
printing of text cut on some pages.
photo mapping: give numbers to all images (some are missing)
as discussed, sections will add to analysis and help with your design
intervention, specifically with frontages and edge condition
rain and temperature statistics: show the relevance for the framework
and your design…
design is missing at the moment, it will be important to link it to the
analysis to develop a spatial framework. well done so far, keep thinking and
drawing for the makings of a beautiful work.
