hand in 1 proposal udf 2
august
- focus, abstract: 300 words
- structure of document
- mapping methods and samples
- from architecture to urban design
and vice versa:
conceptual approach from metro,
local and precinct scale to building
- case studies
- theory references
evaluation
criteria
general:
all
hand ins1-4 and requirements have to be met timeously. hand in 1-3 will be get a provisional mark for due performance as
prerequisite for hand in 4. hand in 4 will evaluated as final document to
be moderated in the portfolio exam. the marks are based on:
content 40%
-
idea and concept of urban design framework
-
scales and layers covered, understanding of subject matter
-
originality, innovation and relevance of idea
techniques 40%
-
research, method, process and presentation
-
design, method, process and presentation
presentation 20%
-
clarity and quality of the presentation
-
aesthetics and quality of visuals
-
language
-
completeness
one submitted document doesn't have a name and one document is still in my post box, I will comment on them later tomorrow.
almeida
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
your
abstract is fairly general and descriptive. at the moment it could apply to
any project of the class. you have to make it distinctively yours, choose
your main points of focus and elaborate on those. maybe investigate into the
points of intensities, how do they operate, what are their specific
characteristics, what can you learn that then informs the design process of
the tower?
-
structure of document
it
looks generally like an acceptable proposal, but is not yet related to issues
raised in your abstract that explain your design approach. the structure of
your document is more than a list of unavoidable points, it is the backbone
of your urban design argument, that integrates your tower design into the
existing context on a variety of layers and scales. you have to give meaning
to this page.
-
mapping methods and samples
your
samples for location and lighting lack text that explains why we are looking
at this graphic, what you want to communicate with it. the reason ofr the
change in scale of the locality map (from 1:15000 to 1:10000) is not obvious.
what do you want to show, why do you change scale?
maroondah
urban design framework: is this a case study or mapping method example? not
explained.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
not
submitted
-
case studies
the
photographs of main street are in no way sufficient to understand the choice
of the case study. what will you look at? different public spaces and their
making? governance? cid politics? gentrification?
-
theory references
not
submitted
other:
the existence of a concept is commendable and should be urgently integrated
in the abstract and structure. hidden networks are certainly an interesting
point of departure. all your activities have to focus on that, method,
mapping, case studies.
provisional evaluation 35/100
content
15/40
techniques
10/40
presentation
10/20
|
almond
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
the
abstract is not your opinion or the general explanation of what an urban
design frame work is but needs to raise the leading question the urban design
project focuses on and summarize the planned approach with relation to the
building you will design. check spelling. you need a theme, an idea that
relates the larger context to your building. there is none mentioned in this
part.
-
structure of document
you
were asked to propose a provisional structure for your final document. there
is no such proposal in your submission. please rework.
-
mapping methods and samples
how
will you use those methods in your work? what you propose does not cover
enough layers and scales.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
it
is not possible to understand your concept, nor urban nor architectural.
-
case studies
not
submitted
-
theory references
not
submitted
provisional evaluation 20/100
content
5/40
techniques
10/40
presentation
5/20
|
badabili
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
inconsistent
usage of lower and upper case. the abstract is not your opinion but needs to
raise the leading question the urban design project focuses on and summarize
the planned approach with relation to the building you will design.
informality is surely a valid starting point. however, you need to be more
specific to use it as operational tool for your urban design framework.
-
structure of document
seems
appropriate as work in progress. shows some connection of issues raised in
abstract, check the yeoville studio (wits) informal trading documentation on
their website.
-
mapping methods and samples
your
maps are not precise enough and do not give a good idea on how you will
proceed, what research methods you will apply. you need to work on a various
scales and a variety of layers. use sections, not only plans. you need to
investigate informal processes and find ways of illustrating them. in
addition you might need to look into urban politics and policies re: formal
and informal trade in johannesburg. you use a similar maps than some of your
classmates, please reference them as group work. ethnic groups are not simply
numbers and colours, they might use the city in various ways. same accounts
for dangerous areas. what are your parameters, where is your legend? go from
quantitative to qualitative analysis.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
not
submitted
-
case studies
not
submitted
-
theory references
list
needs to be extended and used in the document.
provisional evaluation 45/100
content
25/40
techniques
10/40
presentation
10/20
|
coter
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
rephrase
first sentence. how do you uncover a hidden city by minimising segregation?
isn’t it rather about uncovering a hidden city to then minimise segregation
through your urban design framework? careful with categories like ‘lower,
middle and upper class’. if you use them, you have to explain what they
represent in your context. try to avoid stereotypes (the odd artist and the
muffin). this does not question your general intention of joining different
worlds in your framework and building. however, you will have to find
professional ways to translate that into operational plans and spatial
visions.
-
structure of document
incomplete
and very general. it does not relate at all to issues raised in the abstract.
there is no point dealing with hidden layers or segregation. why?
-
mapping methods and samples
transport
map: not sure, what the map is supposed to tell. where is the information
coming from, who collected it, when, where, how?
you
need to give titles to your maps. some of the writing is too small to read.
you use sections, but to not indicate how to link them to site. avoid
generalities, you are not writing a textbook on urban design but preparing an
urban design framework for a mixed use tower that you design. it is
commendable that you start to work in section and seem to include that into
the design process.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
not
supplied
-
case studies
not
supplied
-
theory references
check
spelling and reference system. you have a long list of reference, but it is
difficult to understand how they are linked to your broader argument.
-
other: check layout, your text is in danger of being cut at times (abstract).
check spelling. you seem to have a site and programmatic ideas (cover page)
but do not elaborate on this in the document. you need to link all elements
that you work on and avoid generalities.
provisional evaluation 40/100
content
20/40
techniques
10/40
presentation
10/20
|
falconer
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
interesting
concept, but need more specificity in how it can be translated into a) an
urban design framework and b) a building.
-
structure of document
generally
acceptable at this point as provisional outline. needs rework once the
project develops.
-
mapping methods and samples
provided
examples are not extensive enough.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
not
submitted.
-
case studies
you
need to explain why and how you relate those projects to your investigation.
it is not enough to use them as visual references.
-
theory references
the
same comment: show in your document how those references influence your
project actively.
other:
you need to explore, develop, set up the concept of the continuum, very
specifically for your site in johannesburg. otherwise the concept remains a
word. that would not be enough.
provisional evaluation 40/100
content
20/40
techniques
10/40
presentation
10/20
|
felix
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
the
abstract needs to raise the leading question the urban design project focuses
on and summarize the planned approach with relation to the building you will
design. how does airport design relate to your site, if that is your chosen
approach? you need to be specific, not general.
-
structure of document
phase
1 asked for a provisional proposal for the final structure of your urban
design framework. certain conventions, like introduction, conclusion,
references need to be included. you might want to look at samples of last
years work to get an idea of what is expected. it is good though, that you
made a plan on how to move forward. you might have to include different
scales, material and methods.
-
mapping methods and samples
not
submitted.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
not
submitted.
-
case studies
not
submitted.
-
theory references
not
submitted.
provisional evaluation 20/100
content
5/40
techniques
10/40
presentation
5/20
|
fernandes
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
the
abstract needs to raise the leading question the urban design project focuses
on and summarize the planned approach with relation to the building you will
design. you need to develop an individual approach that responds to the
general aims you list.
-
structure of document
you
were expected to propose a provisional version for the final udf document.
your proposal is very thin. you need to explore more layers.
-
mapping methods and samples
not
submitted.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
this
is meant to be a spatial strategy from metro to building scale, not a number
of maps with no further explanation. your 3d view is a good beginning but
needs more work and information and less fuzziness in print.
-
case studies
you
need to name the authors of design work. how does newtown principles apply to
your site? do they?
-
theory references
very
thin. gapp/ newtown is a precedent, not a theory reference.
provisional evaluation 25/100
content
10/40
techniques
10/40
presentation
5/20
|
ferro
|
fick
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
the
abstract needs to raise the leading question the urban design project focuses
on and summarize the planned approach with relation to the building you will
design. you do not need to explain why urban design. focus on your project:
the concept of grey.
-
structure of document
seems
appropriate for stage 1, add page numbers and adjust as the project develops.
check spelling, be consistent.
-
mapping methods and samples
how
do these examples serve your purpose? method and samples are about ‘what’ and
‘how’ of the project. what do you want to illustrate how? how are you going
to show your process, what kind of research will you explore? who else has
worked in a similar way?
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
you
use maps that seem to be group work. please reference them as such and credit
the group. i don’t see how those maps communicate the concept of grey on a
variety of scales…
-
case studies
make
drawings of your case studies and show which aspects relate to your site and
approach. why do you look at them? in what way are they a role model for you?
form, material, programme, section, plan, implementation?
-
theory references
same
here: explain why you make us look at the material. what is relevant of the
‘plan voisin’ today? maybe that it didn’t work as exected? check the urban
think tank project in brasil, a project for a multifunctional public
building, grotão - escola de música (music factory). it is located in grotão
in the heart of the paraisópolis favela of são paulo. they did win the global
holcim award silver 2012, it might be a relevant case study.
provisional evaluation 55/100
content
25/40
techniques
20/40
presentation
10/20
|
hartmann
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
the
focus on the position of the site between urban and suburban is certainly a
possible beginning. the same applies to the concept of weaving. but again,
the abstract ultimately needs to raise the leading question the urban design
project focuses on and summarize the planned approach with relation to the
building you will design, not introduce the project. you need to rephrase,
concentrate and clarify how you are going to weave, what and where? images
need captions and should be related to the text and drawings.
-
structure of document
you
repeat information from page 3 on page4,5 and 6, why? the added graphics
relate only superficially to the content. you don’t relate the structure to
issues raised in the abstract. from the information supplied, the structure
of the document is not clear.
-
mapping methods and samples
there
are no mapping methods and samples illustrated, only unreferenced maps
produced. the link to cross border movements on page 7 is however
interesting, maybe something to follow up?
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
not
submitted
-
case studies
not
submitted
-
theory references
not
submitted
other:
your text is difficult to read, in addition to general language/ phrasing,
there are lots of spelling and punctuation mistakes that need to be
corrected. your presentation needs accuracy.
provisional evaluation 25/100
content
10/40
techniques
10/40
presentation
5/20
|
kruger
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
the
abstract needs to raise the leading question the urban design project focuses
on and summarize the planned approach with relation to the building you will
design. rework the text once you have developed your design and the framework
further. what does clean urban energy generation mean very specifically for
your design in johannesburg?
-
structure of document
appropriate
for stage 1. it reads quite general at the moment. adjust and specify once
you have more information.
-
mapping methods and samples
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
is
the maboneng precinct really a suburb and not simply the project of one
developer in a suburb? you need to draw what you write about in the various
scales, and scrutinize each layers under the aspect of ‘clean energy’ – you
need to link your concept to your analysis. use sections in addition to
plans. consider interview if applicable to human energy. find out how mixed
use comes to life – through zoning and urban governance? re-use and adaptive
structures? demand and supply of residents and city users? also for you: check
the urban think tank project in brasil, a project for a multifunctional
public building, grotão - escola de música (music factory). it is located in
grotão in the heart of the paraisópolis favela of são paulo. they did win the
global holcim award silver 2012, it might be a relevant case study for mixed
use, clean energy, integrated building, from archi to urban and vice versa.
-
case studies
interesting
case studies. if you were not part of the mit/ chinese study, do not use ‘we’
or acknowledge the source. show more details of the project in drawings if
you can.
-
theory references
the
relevance of the listed references has to come out in the final document. not
all material has to be south african…
provisional evaluation 60/100
content
25/40
techniques
22/40
presentation
13/20
|
letsoisa
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
approach
(traditional healing) interesting, but not explained at all how it will be
analysed and applied on an urban and
architectural scale. healing urban spaces is an abstract concept that needs
to be translated somehow into space, otherwise it is of no purpose. the
abstract needs to raise the leading question the urban design project focuses
on and summarize the planned approach with relation to the building you will
design.
-
structure of document
you
were expected to propose a provisional version for the final udf document.
your proposal is very thin. you need to explore more layers.
-
mapping methods and samples
not
submitted.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
not
clear how the submitted maps relate to healing space? they are graphically
beautiful but communicate little information; at times it is a zoom-in of the
same map. if you use group work, reference it as such and acknowledge all
group members.
-
case studies
not
submitted
-
theory references
not
submitted
-
other: your work needs a title.
provisional evaluation 25/100
content
10/40
techniques
10/40
presentation
5/20
|
lundie
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
the
title is confusing with the repeated word exiting, which to refers - to go
out of or leave a place, or as a noun, a way out, as as way out of a public
building. be clear. in the context of your abstract, what does
thorsten's quote elucidate?
it
is only towards the end of the abstract that does a hint of the project
explained. the concept of "creating the possibility of a new
independent subculture through the merging/fusion of different cultures"
is interesting but might be somewhat nebulous. it has to be structured
and precise with a strong emphasis on how this will be done, especially after
articulating what the different cultures are. the concept regarding african
and western medicine is dangerous. perhaps it should be traditional
medicine and western medicine. be cognisant that medicine, regardless
of its origin is a complex thing, but with proper and appropriate research,
this could be an enlightening + worthy project.
-
structure of document
somewhat
thin. a strong emphasis has to be on unpacking traditional and western
medicine, the core of the project, so that when it comes to the mapping,
appropriate maps are produced to reach and explain something. define
the nature of the problem and then the project. you might unpack the
structure of your current content page with the theme or sub-theme of
medicine, as in 1.1 johannesburg historical and current medicinal
landscape.
-
mapping methods and samples
if
you quote someone, make sure their name is spelt correctly. what do the
maps on page 2 + 3 add to the project in regards to the project's focus?
-
case studies
none.
-
theory references
unclear.
-
other: title should be on the cover page along with the cool photograph, to
give a sense of the project. overall the document lacks structure and
academic substance. it appears to be haphazardly put together at the
11th hour. pity since it has the begins of probing relevant concepts.
provisional evaluation 35/100
content
15/40
techniques
12/40
presentation
8/20
|
makgalemela
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
consideration
of arts on main as a production of ’a set of fantasies’ and confronting it
with the mai mai market is an interesting point of departure. however, the
abstract ultimately needs to raise the leading question the urban design
project focuses on and summarize the planned approach with relation to the
building you will design, not introduce the project. you need to sharpen your
argument. how has the arts on main phantasy been produced? by whom? for whom?
why? what is its success? downfall? what role does phantasy play for mai mai?
compare the two institutions. how do they operate? spatially, socially,
economically? in in how can you
instrumentalise it, manipulate it, learn from them? how is your building
going to behave in this context? n-s versus e-w connection needs more attention.
good start. relate images more to text.
-
structure of document
generally
a fair approach, but unfortunately not visibly related to interesting issues
raised in your abstract. ethnic groups maybe,
but you need to interpret data you’ll collect and look behind the
obvious. you use a similar maps than some of your classmates, please
reference them as group work how is education linked to the creation of urban
phantasies? explain.
i
am interested in the dangerous spots. dangerous for whom? when? why?
structure needs to become more specific in the next phase.
-
mapping methods and samples
same
comments apply to methods and samples. although graphically nicely presented,
the choice of methods are not explained in relation to the main argument/
idea for the urban design approach. quantitative data and statistics are
certainly not enough to understand and unfold an area of this complexity.
your legends are at times too small to read. don’t forget to work in section,
not only in plan. your site has a strong sectional component.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
again,
it is generally not wrong to connect different scales through traffic
networks. but you need to be much more specific about the parameters that the
project needs to inform the design of your tower - will it become a traffic interchange,
redirect flows, absorb them? your 1:10000 drawing shows exactly the same
information than the 1:20000, just a smaller part of the precinct printed
bigger – that is not good enough. use sections and make better use of your
photos.
-
case studies
need
more precedent. and although the project is interesting, it is not clear, why
and how it will inform your project.
-
theory references
a
beginning only.
-
other: the title aids tower is nor explained neither related to in the
document.
provisional evaluation 50/100
content
20/40
techniques
20/40
presentation
10/20
|
nicolatos
|
parsotam narayan
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
remember
that the abstract needs to raise the leading question the urban design
project focuses on and summarize the planned approach with relation to the
building you will design. you might want to focus more on the way how you
propose to merge the formal and the informal, on an urban design level. check
your spelling. caption images.
-
structure of document
acceptable
as work in progress. update and specify while proceeding in your
project.
-
mapping methods and samples
do
not use fuzzy images or graphics. indicate maps that are made as a group and
credit group members. you collected a variety of maps in the submitted
document, try to find a consistent way of mapping, include sections in your
process work.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
-
case studies
relevant
case study proposed, are there others?
-
theory references
how
do they relate to your project? list needs to be extended.
other:
check spelling and layout consistency (text sizes etc)
provisional evaluation 50/100
content
20/40
techniques
20/40
presentation
10/20
|
rodrigues
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
this
is no abstract but a site description. the abstract needs to raise the
leading question the urban design project focuses on and summarize the
planned approach with relation to the building you will design.
-
structure of document
introduce
hierarchy and fix page numbers once you have produced more material.
-
mapping methods and samples
only
submitted as list, not as drawings or other visuals.
spine
map a first beginning of authentic work.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
locality
map is poor in terms of information.
-
case studies
not
submitted.
-
theory references
need
to proof relevance of references in final document/ argument. list needs to
be expanded.
provisional evaluation 30/100
content
13/40
techniques
12/40
presentation
5/20
|
schuyt van castricum
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
the
abstract needs to raise the leading question the urban design project focuses
on and summarize the planned approach with relation to the building you will
design, not introduce the project or general comments on architecture and
urban design. correct language ( first sentence).
-
structure of document
the
content page is at the wrong place in the document. it is fairly general and
needs to be adapted once your develop your design further. why is land use point 2 and point 3.1? 5.5
informal activities by cover more than informal trading typologies. review
chapter 3, the main chapter of your urban work as displayed here. remember
that the whole document is an urban development framework. and is far more
than a site plan, street sections and elevations.
-
mapping methods and samples
your
maps are difficult to read in black and white. you need to allocate scales to
drawings. you need to work in section. your methods of site investigation
should have more layers and scales.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
not
submitted.
-
case studies
not
submitted.
-
theory references
not
submitted.
provisional evaluation 40/100
content
15/40
techniques
15/40
presentation
10/20
|
sutherland
|
vollmer
|
wilson
-
focus, abstract: 300 words
re-write
‘dissertation’ once you have finalized your approach. it is too general at
this point and mixes approach, method and process. check the spelling. note
that you do not produce a paper but an urban design framework.
-
structure of document
generally
acceptable at this point, needs specifics once developed. you need obviously
to elaborate on the chapters of
physical context and others. use drawings to illustrate your words.
-
mapping methods and samples
you
started to map and draw, but you did not lay out what you are going to
produce and how. it would be good to add that for yourself so you know what
you are working towards to.
-
from architecture to urban design and vice versa:
conceptual
approach from metro, local and precinct scale to building
not
submitted
-
case studies
not
submitted
-
theory references
not
submitted
-
other: you have started to write your text, which is commendable. however,
you need to reference where your information is sourced from (johannesburg
general history part). use illustration (maps, sections, photographs) to
accompany context description. you are working on an urban design framework,
you do not need to explain what urban design is but produce it.
how
does your title ‘mobius’ connect to the content of your document? do the
contour lines of the cover page relate to your concept? how?
provisional evaluation 50/100
content
15/40
techniques
22/40
presentation
13/20
|
